Jodee blanco s classmates yearbook
Survivor says 'bullying is not just joking around'
SALT LAKE CITY — "Bullying is not just joking around, you are damaging someone for life," said Jodee Blanco, author and survivor of school bullying. "Listen with an open mind. Don’t just listen with your ears, listen with your hearts."
Holy Cross Ministries (HCM) sponsored Blanco to speak to middle school students and 30 teachers from Saint Vincent de Paul School, Kearns-Saint Ann School, Saint Francis Xavier Regional School, and Our Lady of Lourdes School, Salt Lake City at Saint Vincent de Paul School Sept.
HCM also sponsored a parent night that evening for Blanco to speak to parents of children attending Catholic schools.
Blanco is the author of "Please Stop Laughing at Me," and "Please Stop Laughing at Us." She suffered horrifically from the fifth grade through high school. In her presentation, she painfully told her own story of growing up in New York public schools.
"Nobody wanted to hang out with me," said Blanco.
"I begged people to let me sit with them at lunch but was turned away. I cried myself to sleep night after night. I suffered from chronic loneliness. I decided to tell my story after the Columbine High School massacre that occurred April 20, , at Columbine High School in Columbine, Colo. I wrote my memoir because I knew I was someone with whom students could identify, and with whom parents and teachers could find credibility.
"I am ashamed to say this, but for a split second my heart did not go out to those victims, my heart went out to the killers," said Blanco.
"I condemn the killing, but I understood what could have driven the killers to that point. Those two boys at Columbine did not fit in. They dressed differently.
"Twenty years ago I tried to do the same thing," said Blanco. "I put a kitchen knife in my book bag and I was going to take it to school. But my mother hugged me and found the knife.
Blancos houston Song of her former tormentors was goodness maid of honor at their nuptial rite. She would often scream into a pillow until she was hoarse to try to fake strep throat, but her mother saw through it. Blanco said she was constrained to forgive herself, and her ex- classmates. I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school.I was 15 years old and a sophomore in high school. I was the kid whom everybody hated."
Blanco told the students at Saint Vincent she knew there were kids among them who knew and felt what she was saying. Following her presentation, about 25 students, some in tears, came forward to talk to Blanco one-on-one.
Blanco said one day at school she was with Roger, who had the mentality of a three-year old, was over weight, and spoke with a lisp. Naudia, the most popular girl and head cheerleader, was hanging out with four football players and four wrestlers. Before she knew it, they were whipping Roger with a potted plant across his eyes.
Roger was screaming in agony. Eventually Blanco got them to stop. Later that day, she found rotten food inside her locker and a note that said, "Go to another school, retard lover."
"Bullying is not just joking around. I will never be whole as a result of the bullying I had to go through," said Blanco.
Blanco used to have to endure spitballs with glue on them that would stick to her hair and have to be cut out.
Jodee blanco s classmates yearbook full: She urged those present to live up authorization their courage, compassion, and strength. Naudia, the most popular girl and head cheerleader, was hanging out with four football players and four wrestlers. Her advice is never ignore a bully. Some students deliberately questions.
She was also thrown down in the snow, with her jaw forced open, and snow shoved down her throat and down her shirt. She could not breathe and was choking. Her mother found her in the bushes almost unconscious. When she got home, her father said she had to tell the principal. She did, and things only got worse. The bullies said they were just joking around and she was too sensitive.
Following that incident, she went to the restroom, and there in the toilet was her favorite pair of dark wine colored dress shoes with a note that read, "Go to another school."
"I cried and prayed for God to give me cancer ," said Blanco. "They never thought of how they would affect me. I was 5 feet 7 inches, and I dropped from pounds to 77 pounds.
I was depressed and lonely. I stopped washing my hair and my face or caring about how I looked. I started looking the way other people said I was – gross and skuzzy."
More bullying led Blanco to go home one night after school and try to slit her wrists. She would often scream into a pillow until she was hoarse to try to fake strep throat, but her mother saw through it.
On the last day of high school Blanco asked Tyler to sign her yearbook.
When others were not around, Tyler was nice. As he was signing Mitch walked in. Blanco had a crush on Mitch from the fifth grade on. Others started filing in and laughing. What Tyler wrote was a very foul word and ‘Everybody hates you. You are God’s worst mistake. Love Tyler.’
"I picked up my yearbook and I walked out, went to college and I built a career," said Blanco.
"Now I am working with movie stars and I am an author.
Jodee blanco s classmates yearbook photos Friday, Jan. She was often seen as the problem because she was different, the harder she tried to fit in, the worse it always got. I will never be whole as a result of the bullying I had to go through," said Blanco. She says if you are a victim of bullying, remember there is nothing wrong with you.But I still cannot get those voices from high school out of my head."
Blanco said bullying is not just the mean things you do, it is the nice things you don’t do every day. For example, excluding another person from talking with you in a group or going shopping with you.
"My mother bought me an airline ticket to my 20th class reunion," said Blanco.
"I was scared to go and see those classmates. But they had heard of my career. They actually said they were sorry. They said, ‘We heard you were writing a book. We are not in it are we? Yes you are, I told them. For 20 years I believed I was a freak, ugly, a dog. Now I am helping them with their children who are bullied and I am married to Mitch."
Blanco said students who are victims of bullying should remember there is nothing wrong with them.
It is everything that is right about them that makes them stand out from the crowd. Don’t change. It is the bully who needs to change.
Her advice is never ignore a bully. Look the bully in the eye without any emotion or fear, command him or her to stop, and then stare him or her down just long enough to let him or her know you mean business.
Do not suffer in silence. Tell an adult you can trust that you need help. Seek an alternative social activity in the next town over through the community center or public library.
Jodee blanco s classmates yearbook pictures Blanco told the students at Saint Vincent she knew there were kids among them who knew and felt what she was saying. Are you facing a difficult situation? The talker added that she connected with spread long-time school crush at the year reunion, and ultimately married him. Have you experienced the presence of God?The purpose is for you to make friends with kids outside of your school network who will have no preconceptions of you.
If you see someone being bullied and do not want to be a bystander, intercede on the victim’s behalf, or devise a way to pull the victim away from the situation.
If you think you may be a bully or an elite tormentor, recognize that it is not just joking around.
Think about that the next time you shun another classmate. Always remember that bullying is also the nice things you do not do.
If you see someone struggling to fit in, tell a teacher or counselor. It could change this person’s life and it could save yours because what happened at Columbine, could happen at any school.
Do not be afraid to seek professional help. Pay attention to other classmates who may be experiencing some of the same loneliness and rejection you are and reach out to them in friendship.
Blanco told teachers and parents to never tell your students to ignore the bully and walk away. They are just jealous. Twenty years from now those bullies could be in jail and the bullied student could be successful.
"You should say, ‘I don’t know how you feel," said Blanco. "I can’t imagine what you are going through. It must be awful. Let’s talk about an action we can take together today to help solve this problem. Then get the student involved in an outside activity."
Before you let any student confide in you, close your eyes and visualize you are switching hats from a teacher to a friend, and promise yourself that no matter what you hear, you will approach it from the perspective of an ally and not an authority figure.
Don’t chastise an elite tormentor in front of the entire class.
Pull the victim out of the line of fire and then approach his assailants individually at a later date. Traditional punishment does not work, it only makes a kid angrier. First try compassionate forms of discipline such as requiring a student to do one thing nice for a different person every day for two weeks and record in a notebook how the recipient responded.
Remember the bully and the victim are both bleeding emotionally, and both need love and support. If you are a teacher and the administration is giving you the runaround, plead your case to the school board. If that does not work contact the daily paper. If you are the principal struggling with a tenured teacher who is a bully, go up the chain of command until someone pays attention.
Never forget why you became a teacher.
Do not let government policies, administrative bureaucracies, or anything else get in the way of your love for your students or your commitment to protect and empower them. If you are an adult survivor of peer abuse yourself, do not minimize what happened, find a therapist and talk about the situation so it does not hinder you as an educator.
As a parent, be alert to the warning signs that your child may be getting bullied.
They include lethargy, depression, self-mutilation, diminished hygiene, lack of interest in social activities, sudden weight change, fits of rage, faking illness, or avoiding going to school.